17.12.09

Posting motivation

Lately the motivation to update my blog has been severely lacking. Struggling to figure out why has led me to a few conclusions:

  1. I've been reading too many other blogs, and now I'm confused about the direction I want mine to take. Do I post endless photos of sunsets and grinning anglers with fish or how about flies and materials or maybe industry news and funny pics or fishing reports or shameless business and personal promotion or how about gear reviews or perhaps articles on technique or maybe profiling other anglers or yada yada yada....
  2. Time. I lack it. 
  3. #2 leads to #3, not enough fishing.
  4. Balance. I often wonder if the struggle to find balance in life, between work and play, relationships and personal time, will be an eternal one.
  5. I can be somewhat self concious at times.
  6. Obligation. I want to want to do this, and I started feeling like it was something I had to do. All in my own head, no outside pressure, but there just the same.
  7. I hate competition, and with the explosion of female talent in the fishing world I feel or anticipate comparisons where perhaps there shouldn't be. i.e. I don't want my blog to be compared to Kate's or Hannah's, or have to say for the five hundredth time that I'm not April Vokey's partner and that I'm not a part of Flygal.
  8. I'm burning out. Not of fishing. But of working in the industry, of being a part of this twisted fishing world. I sometimes think that some of my most amazing times out fishing were before I started working in the shop, before all my friends were anglers, when I knew jack shit about tackle and barely more about what I was really doing out there. When I had no expectations of myself. When I wasn't a part of Facebook and didn't know about forums and Youtube and didn't get phone calls daily ("who's catching fish, on which rock were they standing and how far did they cast what line with which fly and when did they mend and strip and can you drive me to that run and show me how to do it so I don't have to thing about it and then I can go back to my computer and post about it like I'm the expert now?") that make me want to weep.


After all that my final conclusion is that maybe I shouldn't care about anything but myself, not care about the image I portray and just do whatever the hell I want to with this. While I am a "professional" in this industry, my blog is for me first and foremost. I'm not trying to sell anything or convert anyone or promote myself... This is my space, my place, my outlet. You are invited to have a peek at it, and if you don't like it feel free to move on.

 
And yes, I am in one of those moods.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

we all love you xoxox

caihlen said...

Yes. Please get over this.

roughfisher.com said...

I hope you find your groove again. Love your perspective on the fly angling world. Cheers

BLUEANGLER said...

"After all that my final conclusion is that maybe I shouldn't care about anything but myself, not care about the image I portray and just do whatever the hell I want to with this."

WELL SAID! my friend, take care...

IMHO, In this blog blooming era, Blogging did generate a lot of confusions to many people, (myself included). However, it just like every kind of tools... if it was used in the right way (depends on the owner's intention), it really can generate positive energy...
For instance, blog has become a important networking tool for many conservation organizations. or for some professionals, it become a good broadcasting, promoting tool...for me, the blogs' main function is to provide service to myself,it is just a personal fishing log and of course something I don't mind to share with friends. The most fascinating character is that I can dig the photos out much easier. It's a good online storage place.

I think your blog has generate a lot of good thoughts and I do appreciate the blog like this one, but if someday, if you feel it take up too much time and decide to terminate it, I will understand and happy to know you are fishing rather blogging... : )

mia said...

Hi Girl, Keep on going for yourself. Don't worry or get caught up in the industry "who" crowd. This is about your family, friends, and fishing from your prespective. No need to impress anyone.

I love checking in to see what your up to, proud of and the flies you try.

Have Fun, Mia

flyfishergirl.com said...

Great post!

To be honest, i think you have reiterated the thoughts of many of us who operate a blog or site.

And, we all most likely will have these thoughts again. ;)

There is more than enough room in the industry for all of us, and i think that we all provide a niche in the market. Together we form an alliance. Or not - it all depends on each person's goal and what/who they are comfortable associating with.

I always say things happen for a reason when they are supposed to. Life is really about the journey, not the outcome. Enjoy, take stock in your professionalism, don't take any ****, and know that you ARE an integral part of this industry, and we all will respect your decisions.

:)

buttehead said...

Wow!
That was so well said and introspective. You are not alone! Is it the winter blahs? Is it that technology is sucking the soul out of life?

First time reading your blog. Bounced in off of someone else's link. What a wonderful, heart-felt statement.

Interested in a stranger's suggestion? Chuck all of the shit for a little while and get back to that source you were talking about. Leave all of the gadgets and whodads behind, grab one rod, one real, a light vest, the older the better, and go get off the beaten path and fish for the hell of it. Maybe by yourself, maybe with someone who knows you well and can just let you be. I've been doing it every year since '94 between Christmas and New Year's.

Does it solve all of life's woes? No. Has it seriously pissed off an ex-wife and some ex girlfriends? Yes. But now everyone without an ex attached understands and realizes what comes back to them is better than what left. Breathing that wet, thick air, laughing at stupid shit, not having to explain a damn thing for five days straight.

And if you feel like writing about it when you get get back, great. Looks like you have a good audience. If you don't feel like writing about it, that's great, too. It just might do the trick.

T. Brook Smith said...

...don't know if a frequent spincaster is allowed to chime in here but I agree with the others that your instinct is correct. Be true to yourself...

...but.

...do you really mean to say you won't care about ANYTHING? If you're in that category you have bigger problems than what to blog about. Maybe you mean that you'll care MORE about what you write by focusing on what really matters to you and letting the chips fall where they may?

Agreed in full with the "twisted fishing world" quote. There used to be a much more specific reason people did this stuff. It seems we lose our way sometimes now that we're evolutionary freelancers.

Enjoying the blog. Best of luck.

eimaj said...

I gotta agree technology can suck the life outta you if you let it. Things like this should be on your terms and when you feel like it, never feel obligated. That said I love reading yours.

I will say that the balance within life becomes easier as I've set priorities. Finding out what's most important to myself and then working things around and into that has been the best way for me to help find balance. It took dropping some things out of my life. But in the end for myself it's been for the best, and I've found a great balance.

Erik Helm said...

Ah...
The period of self examination and questioning. I struggle with it too. I write essays and storys, post them, and then wonder what I really am trying to accomplish.

After quite a bit of thought it finally hit me.

Make your little piece of cyberspace your own. Make it you. Ignore the mainstream. Most all of the magazines and forums and yes, even quite a few blogs are self-serving, self-aggrandizing, and oh so much the same. Look at me! Full of attitude and shouting.

Your blog is quite good. Just look deep down and find what the essence is. Make it extraordinary.

Blog burn-out is quite common. You are not alone.

ReddHead said...

I have just started my own fly fishing website and I am having a similar crisis. I could really relate with what you wrote. I guess if my two cents is worth anything, be selfish, I feel like it is working for me. But who knows. Anyway, keep fishing. This is the first time I have seen your sight and I like it.

www.reddheadflyfishing.com

Anonymous said...
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captfishshady said...

check it home girl, i hate the industry crap more then most i have ever met, i know this is an old post but i like it and just found your blog. i have months and full seasons that go by that i want to quit the whole gig, i used to be "cool" right semi pro extreme sports guys, record deal with the band, but gave it all up to fish and now its a job that i love and hate equally. Just stick to the roots and keep it simple. at least your not a tattooed freak like me. write your blog as honest and transparent as you can with out any ones opinion. have fun and REPRESENT

Sam said...

Just stumbled into your blog. I like it. Just read this commentary on posting motivation.
Go with your gut, say what's on your mind, and have fun. There is enough BS out there, we can't let our wading boots get too bogged down in it. And, if you need to bitch about the BS, let 'er rip, there is not enough critical commentary out there. But most of all, go with your gut and cast away passionately.

Keep up the good work!
cheers and tight lines
ss
www.headwatersofhistory.com